oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
