I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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