I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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