finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
