I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I had to cum in my sink.
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