Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
