I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
