Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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