i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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