I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize