I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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