how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
