the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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