He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
