It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
