I love black thongs
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
