I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize