your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Two words: blizzard sex
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