# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
