YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
