I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
