so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
