I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize