So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
