i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
