hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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