So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I understand Curling. That high.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I'm really busy with my period
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