Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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