capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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