never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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