I look better un-naked...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
