my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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