There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
