it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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