is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That accounts for only three of the penises
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
