the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
