im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
