feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
