bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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