she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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