I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Operation Purity has been aborted
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
