I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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