I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have fence marks all over my body
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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