we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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