he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
