She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
