some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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