the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
