remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
