This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
