yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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