Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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