I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You smell like stripper and shame
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
3pm strippers are depressing
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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