for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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