ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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