It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
