we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
