just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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