Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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