she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
NoShamevember. You game?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
