God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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