Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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