you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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