guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
