At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize