I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize