Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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