I hate all girls vehemently.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
