So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
