'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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